There's No 'I' In NBC

Just in time for the remake of "Clash Of The Titans" comes the late night TV version, with Jay Leno butting his enormous head against Conan O'Brien's famously weird coiffure for the coveted 11:35 p.m. turf.

NBC is now the den mother of the mother of all sibling rivalries. The peacock thought it had all this worked out four years ago, trying to avoid the temper tantrum Dave Letterman threw in 1993 when he stormed off to CBS and, somehow, became the unlikely grumpy, horny king of the time slot.

But the deal to keep Conan, and his free-spending, fun-loving demographic off another network by handing over Johnny Carson's crown while it was still warm from Leno's head was built on a foundation of quicksand.

The problem for both Leno and Conan, who have been at their respective shticks since the early 90s, is that no one gives a damn when there are better options available. Who wants to see Leno awkwardly salivate over Naomi Watts and drop embarrassing Freudian slips in an interview when they can watch David Caruso whip off his sunglasses and make witty comments over the latest murder victim and cue the Who music, or Dr. Grey choose between McDreamy and McSteamy? And who wants to see Conan do that lame fake interview with the real celebrity face and dubbed moving mouth, or chat with Triumph the Insult Comic Dog when there is still non-infomercial competition, like Letterman or Nightline?

Both these guys knew going into their deal that there were risks involved, and yet both are whining like the ball was taken away inches away from the end zone. At least Conan had the humility to say in his (under)statement that "in a world with real problems, I've been absurdly lucky." Something tells me that, just before the repo man arrives at his door, some kind of salvation will arrive.

Conan delights in singing "I'm a-gonna go to hell when I die" after skewering the likes of Paris Hilton in his monologue, and Jay likes to patrol the streets of Hollywood looking for morons he can seem smarter than in his "Jaywalking" segments. So clearly it's too much to expect magnanimity from a pair of egomaniacs. NBC can rule out their taking one for the team and turning the clock back to the old post-prime time lineup. Instead they may both end up on other networks.

And NBC will end up with a bigger cascade failure than the one they tried to avoid in 2005.